A LOVE NOW FORBIDDEN 

Moving On

I am moving on with my life,
that's the way it must be.
I had let go, of a love I once knew,
It is something you must see.

I know you saw it in my eye's,
the very last time we met.
For with the help of the Lord,
I know now where my destiny's set.

We both knew when this love began,
it would be so very tough,
There were so many things in our lives,
that would make this love rough.

And with these things they took there toll,
with each passing day they darkened my soul.
Now this winter I had to make a choice,
to let go of a love that once made me feel whole.

It was a forbidden love you see,
so many things hidden from inside your heart.
Things that should have been told to me,
they should have been told right from the start.

Things that ate me alive,
tore my soul to the core,
That's why now you see me,
walking straight out the door.

So as you see me moving on,
there are things still inside my heart.
Things that happened within our love,
that will never leave me as we part.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2005

Held captive at the waters edge... 

Whispers In The Wind

I hear the wind whisper,
softly within my ear.
Across the ocean waters,
it's your name that I hear.

Sending chills upon my body,
as I reminisce about the times we've shared.
With your face so bright and shining,
for you knew how much I cared.

As I hear the wind whisper,
I recall the voice that spoke my name.
And how wonderful it felt,
as it sparked a beautiful flame.

He teased me ever so gently,
with whispers softly in my ear.
Remembering one special night,
and the one I held so dear.

I was held captive in a trance,
while tightly in his embrace.
As he stroked me very gently,
the tears streamed slowly down my face.

Held captive at the waters edge,
as the wind whispers of true love.
A night not soon forgotten,
as my heart rides high upon the clouds above.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-28-05

His Eyes Glowed With Love

IN The Night Skies

His Love For Me

As I found his reflection in the night skies,
a glimmer of hope I saw in his eyes.
A hope for one day a future with me,
a life of love he really wants it to be.
It took me a while but I did come around,
as this beautiful love for me was found.
I saw it in his eyes each time that came,
and I knew deep down life would never be the same.
I knew that day as we stood on that sacred ground,
with him was where my ties would be bound.
My children love him so very much,
as his love for children shows in his touch.
The Lord has led my life his direction,
as I now feel from him a great protection.
He tells me he loves me more than I could believe,
and I feel from his heart, a great love is what I receive.
My little girl loves him more than he will ever know,
as her love for him, to us she does show.
A greater love than I've ever seen come from her soul,
as he now makes her world seem whole.
Just as he does mine in so many ways,
and fills my life with brightness with each passing day.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-27-05

SO MANY YEARS APART...YET

So Much Alike...Jim in the middle...Our son on the outside..age 2 both of them..

Let the Drugs And Alcohol Go

Jim you know your son is now 3 years old,
him I really wanted you to get to know.
I know you love him as your son,
but look now what you've gone and done.

You gotten yourself in trouble with the law,
nothing but trouble,that's all I saw.
I'm sorry that I can't be in your life,
but you carry around so much strife.

I don't want that for my son,
I said what I had to say, and now I am done.
Your life wasn't solid nor was it sound,
and I knew exactly where you were bound.

Bound for jail and I was right,
now in jail you'll spend the night.
Well more than one is what you'll spend,
as these rules you tried to bend.

When will you ever learn, the drinking and drugs have to stop?
Will it be the day that you drop?
I don't want that, you must see,
for this year death has overtaken me.

I've tried to share a wonderful love with you,
one from a little boy with eyes so blue.
The choices that we made, now makes me sad,
for a son now 3 doesn't even know his dad.

Neither does a father know his son,
and all of our mistakes can't be undone.
I want you to love him, and him love you back,
but how do I fix this, when it seems love that you lack.

You get drunk and messed up on drugs,
you come to me, just for some love.
But the love I have for you is just through our son,
I love you as a friend, from me that's all that you've won.

I gave you the chance to know your son,
hoping one day you two together would have some fun.
But you don't show up except every once in a while,
and from him you live only 1 little bitty mile.

So tell me now were my choices so bad?
That I've never told our son, that you're his dad.
For I know deep down inside, you'll always be walking in and out,
and this drives me crazy, I just want to shout.

As for the man who was there when he was born,
another mistake I made, that sticks like a thorn.
For the last time he saw Bobby was when he turned two,
and just like you, his love for our son didn't show true.

I want my son happy, not forever sad,
That's why I can't tell him, that your his dad.
I love our son with all my heart,
but I didn't give him a very good start.

Will he ever have a chance to be a son too you,
or will you always make his life blue.
He doesn't really know who you are,
he just knows your visits come from afar.

He sees you as a friend of mine,
who once in a while comes by to pass the time.
One that comes by now and again,
just to see his mom, and also to be his friend.

So Jim with this story I write to you,
lay down the alcohol and drugs, that make your life blue.
I hope one day that this will make you see,
the drugs and alcohol just shouldn't be.

I hope this makes you want to fight,
fight for the love of a son, with all your might.
Because one day this love, could be won,
from the little blond haired boy, you call son.

From the drugs and alcohol set you self free,
for once in your life listen to me.
Let yourself love him, please let it be done,
with this beautiful little boy, you call son.

We have both made a lot of mistakes,
so let's try to fix them before his heart breaks.
This now is your wake up call,
please look in that mirror that hangs on the wall.

There in that mirror, I'll tell you what I see,
it's my little boy, 35 years from now staring back at me.
So before it's to late and they have to bury the father of my son,
open your eyes and your heart and let his love be won.

Get to know this wonderful little boy you see,
you'll find a beautiful love there,if you could only trust me.
You will never regret it if you would put them away,
for he holds inside him a love that will always brighten your dullest day.

So please put the drugs and alcohol down,
and let this beautiful love be found.
And get to know the one,
who you call son.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-27-05


This story was written after Friday nights (One Drunken Night) episode with my friend who is my sons father...It's very sad... but true...Our son now pays for the mistakes we've made....I believe he loves him...but the drugs and alcohol have such a hold on him ...and he doesn't want the responsibility of him...his drugs and alcohol were always more important....Jim is a great person...fun to be around when he's not using drugs or drinking....Kids just love him...everyone does...I hope I can help him before it's to late.....

AS YOUR WINGS OF FATE

HOLD MY HEART

Wing's Of Fate

As the wind blows it's sultry air,
straight through my auburn hair.
The beauty of the morning showing clear,
as the wing's of fate are coming near.

My mind wandering endless in the night,
as I lay wrapped in your arms ever so tight.
Thinking of all the passions that we've fed,
and how wonderful it feels lying in your bed.

A cherished vision pops into my head,
as I think of all the wonderful things you've said.
The wing's of fate I feel coming near,
as my head begins to clear.

Our spirits lie, strong in wait,
as we lie in the arms of our lasting mate.
Trying to fulfill each others dreams of the night,
as talk of our future that now seems bright.

Recalling scenes from times before,
and that day you opened my hearts door.
Envisioning your smiling face,
as I'm taken back to another time and place.

A time when I wasn't sure just how I felt,
and then came the day, you made my heart melt.
A day that will forever be etched in my mind,
a day never forgotten, until the end of my time.

With the morning bringing in a bright new day,
I send all the love from my heart your way.
For I feel that the wing's of fate have now come near,
and forever I will hold you in my heart so dear.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2005

Not the same car....

But gives you an idea of what the hood did...lol...MESSED UP

Our Joy Ride With Mom

We were driving down the road
going very fast.
I really thought my mom would jump out,
after the car that we past.
Tony love to scare her, and he really did,
for just as he got around the car the hood came up on the dash.
Then she took her head and hid,
deep within her hands, and screamed as we heard the loud crash.
Tony knew he was in deep shit,
he laughed anyway, as mom begin to hit.
The windshield cracked and the hood was shot,
as we pulled off the road in that very spot.
All we could do was laugh so very very hard,
and now from the other cars, he would be barred.
She got over it before we got to the house,
oh but she was so mad, our little Minnie Mouse.
It really wasn't her he had to worry about,
cause when we got home, Dad began to shout.
Boy what did you think you were doing,
scaring your mom like that?
We didn't know dad, it was just funny,
she looked like a scared old cat.
She really had to love us,
after all the things we did, just to make her fuss.
To look back on it now it really wasn't really funny.
but we were just crazy little teens just doing crazy shit,
as we watched our mom pitch her little fit.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-26-05

Mom really had to love us to put up with what me and my older brother did to her...Tony and I were the bad kids...of the 5 living...my sister Julie run a close race behind us though....But most of the time she really though it was funny...But the car incident she didn't think was very funny...even though she got over it...LOL....

She Would Kill Me...

For Putting This Picture Here...Our Funny Little Minnie Mouse...Many Years Ago...

Our Little Minnie Mouse

You've been gone five months from me,
in my life, I just didn't see.
You not with me, in this house,
our funny little, Minnie Mouse.

I see you walking, all around,
in your red robe, you had found.
I now wear,with such pride,
it makes feel, you're by my side.

I wear your rings, you wore with pride,
they will never, leave my side.
The one from dad, I do love so,
in those rings his love did show.

All your things, we will keep,
even though, they make us weep.
Thanksgiving and Christmas they are gone,
and now an anniversary dad spent alone.

Our lives are empty without you here,
but we look at your things you held so dear.
I try to think of all the good times we had in this house,
and how we laughed at our little Minnie Mouse.

I know you would kill me if you were here,
I guess it's a good thing your not near.
Cause you hated it when we called you Minnie Mouse,
but it was funny when you chased us around the house.

So mom this poem I wrote is just for you,
to show you how my love was true.
And how I miss you in this house,
we all miss our Little Minnie Mouse.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-26-05

Just a crazy little poem I wrote while thinking of Mom today...and how she hated for us to call her Minnie Mouse...LOL

Mom I See The Flowers In Heaven

Oh...How They Must Shine....A Beauty In Heaven I Know You Must Be Enjoying...

48 Years Of Love From The Man She Called Tom

48 years it would have been today,
but so far in the heavens she went away.
They shared a Love not many know,
as the Love from them, surely did show.
Through happiness and joy a Love did flower,
blessed by God, and all his power.
We also had sorrows,but our lives were very sound,
and through it all, their Love proved to be profound.
Solid as a rock you might say,
for all this Love was sent our way.
But on this day my Moms not here,
Dads alone without the one he held so dear.
Instead of celebrating an anniversary today,
me and Dad went a few miles away.
There a beautiful head stone we had found,
now to be placed upon the ground.
In memory of her beauty and her Love she shared with us all,
and how saddened we were when she died this past fall.
With her name now being craved in stone,
she sits with the Lord at his throne.
To the left of her name will be my Dads too,
and this leaves my life feeling so empty and blue.
For one day I know he will be laid to rest,
right next to her, as we are put to another test.
But Dad was so proud of the stone we'd picked out,
and I know Mom would be too, there is no doubt.
A big beautiful church with a cross on top,
it was so beautiful it made my heart drop.
With a gorgeous pathway that leads to their Love,
and way up to the heavens, so far above.
Inscribed right in under this scene will be a beautiful verse.
"Till we shall meet again and never part"
I loved this verse right from the start.
Because one day I know we'll all be there,
in heaven with Mom, and more anniversaries to share.
This one my Dad may have spent alone,
but she was in his heart where she belongs.
The 47 and a half years of Love they shared,
were years of joy,for we knew how much they really cared.
So today the first anniversary spent without Mom,
all the Love that was sent to her,
came from the man that she called Tom.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-25-05

We missed Mom today..and so did Dad...He has been so sad without her...Jordan my 10 year old...wished him a happy anniversary today..He had to explain to her it wasn't a very happy one because Mama wasn't here...It broke my heart...

Inside My Heart

Is A Great Love

Love Is

Love is enduring.
Love is strong.
Love is happiness.
Love is kind.

Love is joy.
Love is hope.
Love is safe.
Love is warm.

Love is all these feeling,
all wrapped up in one.

Love is what I found,
when I found you.

Love last forever,
when it's true and from the heart.
Love is what you have,
when nothing can break it apart.

Love is what you feel,
when you look deep into someone's eyes,
and they have a glistening spark,
that shines from deep within.

Love is what you have,
when your able to bare your soul to someone.
And never worry,
about what you'll find inside.

Love puts a smile on your face,
and wipes away the darkest frown.
Love picks you up,
when you've been knocked down.

Love is the kindness,
you find deep within ones heart.
For it holds a beauty,
you can only find deep within.

Love makes your heart sing,
and your eyes shine.
Love is hope and dreams,
for a future that's bright.

Love makes you feel safe,
away from all harm.
Love leaves your heart ,
with a warmth deep down inside.

Love is what I find,
when I look into your eyes.
When you put your arms around me,
and make me feel so safe and warm.

True Love Is What I Found
The Day That I Found You.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-22-05

Within My Heart

Love

If Ever I Felt A Love So True

If ever I felt
a love so true.
It's the love
that comes from you.
You opened your heart
and let me in.
That is where
my love did win.
In open arms
a love did show.
As you kissed me
oh so slow.
If ever I felt
a love so deep.
Never again do I
have to weep.
For in this love
I feel so strong.
Never again do I
have to long.
Long for arms
around me tight.
For yours are here
every night.
Long for passion
deep inside my soul.
For with your love
my world is whole.
Long for love
within my heart.
For in your arms
I no longer fall apart.
If ever I felt
a love so true.
It's that love
that comes from you.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-19-05

LONELINESS

Where Does Life Lead Us

DYING VERY VERY FAST

44 years old and dying fast
all these years of my past.
Not really knowing
where to go from here.
Inside my wiery soul
there's so much fear.
Fears of losing you
fears of moving on.
Afraid of loving you too.
So where do I go from hear?
I need you to tell me now,
for my hearts, not very clear.
Inside I feel I'm dying, so very very fast.
Scared of all this love you've shown me,
afraid it really won't last.
Sometimes I really wonder,
why you fell in love with me.
It makes my heart ponder,
the things you say to me.
The most beautiful things,
I've really ever heard.
So now tell me why I feel
I dying so very, very fast.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©01-18-05

SOUL RIPPED OUT

FROM DEEP WITHIN

Still Alive

As evil lurks within my mind,
not an ounce of sanity will you find.
Eye's that haunt me through the night,
sends me yielding in such fright.

As evil reaches way down deep,
wakes my body from it's sleep.
I try to run, I try to hide,
but he's still lurking, deep inside.

To no avail, he's still standing there,
lurking around, for my soul to share.
He rips my heart, right out of my chest,
pumping here behind my breast.

Devouring it with an evil grin,
as my blood drips down his chin.
Takes my bones and sucks them dry,
as he watches my arms fly.

As my blood begins to drain,
washed away by the rain.
His gruesome eye's, I still see,
still alive as he devours me.

A pain I've never felt before,
as I lie here on this floor.
Still alive just lying there,
as I watch his evil stare.

Dry of blood, my heart does stop,
as my head begins to drop.
Still alive, as he took my soul,
and left me lying in this hole.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2005

So Safe Within Your Arms...

Damn Janiece That Looks Like Jim...Erie Isn't It...

Inside Your Arms So Safe And Warm

Inside my heart I feel a love
that grows forever strong.
Within your arms is where I am,
and where I feel I belong.

As I lay here next to you,
you kiss me gently on the cheek.
You whisper softly, I love you,
and my heart becomes so weak.

Within you a love so giving,
as you pull me close to you.
In your arms so safe and warm,
my heart feels through and through.

For hours we lay and talk,
about the simplest things.
Of hopes and happiness,
and what we hope this love brings.

The night you told me you loved me,
is a night I'll never forget.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you I loved you,
it's something I really regret.

But at the time I was so mixed up,
it was something I wasn't expecting yet.
But I believe the Lord has led me,
and I believe that's why we met.

As we fall asleep together each night,
I lay here thinking of you.
And how much you love me,
and how much I love you too.

For inside you arms,
away from all harm.
You make me feel
so safe and warm.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2005

This Is One Crazy Screwed Up Mind

BUT I AM WHO I AM...AND I DON"T GIVE A DAMN....

I Am Who I Am...But Who Gives A Damn

I am a great poet
thats what I am.
My grammars' not good,
but who gives a damn.

I write what I write
because I am who I am.
My spellings not good,
but who gives a damn.

I get my point across
because I am who I am.
And if you don't like it,
I don't give a damn.

I write from my heart
because I am who I am.
I am a great poet,
but who gives a damn.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2005

LOL...don't know where this one came from...just out of this crazy mind...And I don't give a damn....LOL

Mysteries

Sleeps within the mind of a poet..

" A Poets Thoughts"

These things I write today
come from deep inside my heart.
Sometimes I really don't know
exactly where to start.

At times it's a lonely road,
one of great despair.
Poets live through their words,
even if you feel it's not fair.

Hearts sometimes broken
by cynical words and sneers.
In a world of freedom of speech,
I've found our words, are just their fears.

And at times it's just to much,
for their hearts and minds to comprehend.
For in our words they find the truth,
a message they don't like us to send.

People just don't understand,
what's inside a poet's mind.
Nor do they see inside him,
the most beautiful things, you can find.

Some think you should always write
of rainbows, mountains and of love.
And all the things of beauty,
that come from above.

They don't really want you to write
what's deep down in your heart.
Because sometimes to them
it's just a little to dark.

But when a heart is in deep despair,
often it's hard for them to repair.
So what come from out of our soul,
really makes their hearts roll.


When it's to much for them to bear,
I just open up my heart and let it pour.
I let my pen do the talking,
and send the message even if it makes them sore.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

Inside My Heart A Firey Blaze

My Heart Bleeds For You

I NEVER KNEW

I never knew I could love again.
Then I looked up, you were there.
Standing in front of me,
with those eyes,and that stare.
Finally my wishes had come true.
my life now, I'll spend with you.
I never knew just how it felt,
until the day you made my heart melt.
So completely, crazy in love,
flying on the clouds,way up above.
With that big beautiful smile
painted across your face,
you made my heart, begin to race.
My head forever,in the clouds above
I never knew, I could be so much in love.
With your kiss you stole my breath away,
on that beautiful, sunny day.
Within my stomach, you made me feel,
like butterflies were fluttering, Oh so real.
I dream of kissing you every night,
my, this love is out of sight.
I desire more with each passing day,
I hope this love never goes away.
I never knew how passion really felt,
until these cards I was dealt.
Everything I'm feeling deep inside,
never again do I want to hide.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004


I started this poem a long time ago...desided to finish it...even though I messed up this love.... A part of me will always love him...

MY HEART ALWAYS SEARCHES

BUT IS ALWAYS DEFEATED

" Lost Forever"

Lost forever by defeat
where sometimes you hear
not even beat.
Always shattered
from a broken heart.
Where life never mattered
right from the start.
Lost and lonely
I'll always be
for inside this mind
you'll only find me.
Lost forever to things held inside.
Fears from a heart,
where only sorrow, can reside.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

YOU CAN LOOK FOREVER

BUT SOMETIMES YOU NEVER FIND THAT SOUL....

Deep Is A Soul"

Sometimes we search
never to find.
For deep is a soul
hidden far behind.
Inside we reach
deep within.
Depths so deep.
Where do we begin?
For deep is soul
so hard to find.
Sometimes it will drive you,
right out of your mind.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

I TOLD YOU MY MIND WAS SCREWED UP.... 

"Heart In Turmoil"

My heart in turmoil
my mind so blank.
A love so solid.
What did I think?
I threw it away
as though as nothing was there.
I know he must think
that I just didn't care.
But he deserves so much more
than I can ever give.
I know I will love him,
as long as I live.
I know that doesn't change,
the things that I've done.
Even though my heart,
he really had won.
He will be better off,
without me in his life.
That's why I can never be
his loving wife.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU

I AM ALWAYS WITH YOU JIM>>>FOR OUR SON>>>TRY WITH ALL THAT IS IN YOU....

These Secrets hidden Deep Within 

"The Secrets We Hide"

Deep dark secrets
within us they hide.
Inside our minds
they take us for a ride.

Through fear and darkness
is where they are found.
Inside the pits of our souls
they just hang around.

They rob our spirit
of all it's pride.
As they take us on our journey
of this fearful ride.

They take our souls
and turn them to stone.
As they cut our hearts
right down to the bone.

One day I'll fight
these secrets inside.
No longer from the fear
will I have to hide.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

THESE EYE'S FORVER

Haunting My Soul

"Your Haunting Eyes"

The fears within
your haunting eyes.
As I listen
To all your lies.

Of death foretold
is coming near.
Of someone special
that I hold dear.

Inside your cruelness
you know my fears.
With death you know
brings many tears.

As your haunting eyes
play now upon my heart.
Placed inside them
will be my sharpest dart.

So haunt me now
if that's what you must do.
For one day I know
I will escape these fears of you.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

BROKEN AND EMPTY HEART 

"Empty Heart"

My heart is so empty
not even a sound.
My soul so hollow
not a beat can be found.
My mind so distant
no one can get through.
These walls I've built high
from a love I once knew.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

A TEARFUL HEART 

" This Love Can Never Be"

Your touch so warm and tender,
to your love my heart did surrender.
Unforgetable eyes I'll never forget,
a love once shared without regret.

Rash my heart may not some days be,
the love we once shared will always be with me.
The depths of love can never be felt,
for never can another man make my heart melt.

Profuse was the love you had once given,
so freely to my heart, as your soul was driven.
You loved me in a way no man ever had,
as I tore down that love, and made your world sad.

Never will you know the depths of my love,
for I have set you free, free as a dove.
You deserve more than the love given by me,
That's why this love can never be.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

I HAVE MY EYE ON YOU