"FRIENDS OATHS"

Got this in one of my emails today though it was really cute.

i'm sick of those stupid "friend oaths", who knows friend's like that? here's the real version:

1. When you are sad - I will help get you drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you a whiny lil bitch.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about people I know who went through the same thing, which probably won't help much.

6. When you are confused - I will use small words so that I don't hurt your wittle brain.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.
I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath. I pledge it till the end. Why, you may ask?

Because that's what friend's do!