Drink After Drink
When I want to write I open up my mind,
the problem is I don't always like what I sometimes find.
I try to run away, turn from it and hide,
it doesn't always work my mind doesn't abide.
Inside my mind I'm so scared of what my life will bring.
Will I make the same mistakes or will I learn this time?
Why should this independence cause me so much pain?
My life I just want to totally regain.
I feel that I've been lost and actually taken away,
for six years now I've tried to find myself that somewhere went astray.
But everything I was he took it all from me.
Living in fear not knowing what was next to see.
My life slipped from my fingers at each and every turn,
and inside my body aching and my mind begins to burn.
With each new bruise he placed upon me I lost the one I knew,
from the world I began to hide these things that he would do.
Drink after drink the more he wanted control,
with it came the bruises and I had lost my only hold.
No longer was I that person that everyone had known,
for inside I was weak and my mind he had surely blown.
Why did I not tell them instead I hid away,
until the bruises were gone sometimes two weeks to the day.
Away from him I broke and I was finally free,
but still to this day I cannot find the person I use to be.
I am afraid that she is gone no longer there to find,
with his abuse he placed upon me he also made me blind.
Blind too who I was and what love was suppose to be,
now six years later I can't seem to make a life for me.
He made me scared to love another and trust them totally,
and now it's hard for me to love anyone truly.
When things get too serious my mind begins too run away,
because I know I can't take the pain again that he had sent my way.
Drink after drink he took my life from me,
and now I just can't find the one I use to be.
With each drink came the pain from his fist he really loved to use.
I guess it made him more of a man when me he did abuse.
Away from him I am and that is where I'll stay,
I just hope to find the women I was one day.
Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©12-28-05
the problem is I don't always like what I sometimes find.
I try to run away, turn from it and hide,
it doesn't always work my mind doesn't abide.
Inside my mind I'm so scared of what my life will bring.
Will I make the same mistakes or will I learn this time?
Why should this independence cause me so much pain?
My life I just want to totally regain.
I feel that I've been lost and actually taken away,
for six years now I've tried to find myself that somewhere went astray.
But everything I was he took it all from me.
Living in fear not knowing what was next to see.
My life slipped from my fingers at each and every turn,
and inside my body aching and my mind begins to burn.
With each new bruise he placed upon me I lost the one I knew,
from the world I began to hide these things that he would do.
Drink after drink the more he wanted control,
with it came the bruises and I had lost my only hold.
No longer was I that person that everyone had known,
for inside I was weak and my mind he had surely blown.
Why did I not tell them instead I hid away,
until the bruises were gone sometimes two weeks to the day.
Away from him I broke and I was finally free,
but still to this day I cannot find the person I use to be.
I am afraid that she is gone no longer there to find,
with his abuse he placed upon me he also made me blind.
Blind too who I was and what love was suppose to be,
now six years later I can't seem to make a life for me.
He made me scared to love another and trust them totally,
and now it's hard for me to love anyone truly.
When things get too serious my mind begins too run away,
because I know I can't take the pain again that he had sent my way.
Drink after drink he took my life from me,
and now I just can't find the one I use to be.
With each drink came the pain from his fist he really loved to use.
I guess it made him more of a man when me he did abuse.
Away from him I am and that is where I'll stay,
I just hope to find the women I was one day.
Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©12-28-05
posted by poisonivy at 1:44 AM
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