I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING 

"I Gave You Everything" " What Did I Get In Return" ( "Part 2 Of "Torn Between Two Hearts")

I gave you my heart.
I gave you my soul.
I gave you everything,
for you to have and hold.
I gave you my mornings.
I gave you my nights.
I gave you my evenings,
for all your delights.
I gave you my life.
I gave you my breath.
I gave you my all,
for you to cherish.

What did I get in return,
put on hold until you were ready.
What did I get in return,
a call when you see fit.
What did I get in return,
wait for me, I'll call when I'm ready.
What did I get in return,
all you ask is time, is that to much to ask?
What did I get in return,
a love when it's conventient for you.

Now I ask you,
Was your love true?
Was the passion inside you real?
Are you perfect?
Do you expect me to be perfect?
Is there ever tomorrow?
Was there ever a life for you and me?
Was this another one of your games?

How I feel today,
Well I believe you love me,
but on your terms.
In which sometimes isn't good enough.
The passion I saw inside your eyes was real,
but only when conventient for you.
I know your not perfect,
if you will remember, I know you.
As far as tomorrow, I really don't know,
I know I love you, and don't want to hurt anyone.
But it seems that's where this is going to end.
And for the games,
yes sometimes I feel that's what you did string me along.
You left me without a call or anything,
at a time when I needed you most.
September was a terrible month,
and where were you?
Did you wipe away the tears? NO.
Did you try to help me through this? NO.
I still loved you.
But what was I to do?
Sit back and wait, or move on with my life.
I chose to move on with my life.
I never wanted to hurt anyone.
And still don't...
I wasn't expecting you to call back,
I really thought you had decided to end it.
When you love someone,
you don't desert them in their time of need.
I know you have some problems to deal with,
but that's no reason to neglect the one you say you love.

I look back now,
I never expected him to walk back into my life.
But he did, and he has been there for me.
He has loved me, and in a strange way, I love him.
I never knew it was possible to love two people at once,
but even through it all, I have found a love for both,
and with what you've done I still love you.
I love the passion inside you.
But I also love the care and comfort he has given me.

And with this,
I hope you understand.
It is possible to love two people.
I never wanted it to come to this,
but it has, and I'm sorry.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

This story was written after a comment on my poem "Torn Between Two Hearts"...There are always two sides to a story...one you see...one you don't...I do love them both...for different reasons...And it is a very hard situtation to deal with...because in the end someone has to be hurt....And that someone will probably be me...because in the end...my heart tells me I can't choose between them...I will have to be alone...it's the only right choice...the only fair one...for them anyway...

HIDDEN PASSIONS 

"As I Stroll Through Dreams"

As I stroll through dreams,
where passion's are fed.
You charm my heart,
with your passionate desire’s.
All our fantasies to be fulfilled,
until we reach contentment’s zone.
Inside your eyes, so warm and tender,
I see you gazing back at me.
That look intent and piercing,
sees deep into my soul.
As I stroll through dreams,
where passions are fed.
You whisper my name so softly,
my heart cries out for more.
Within that deep and burning desire,
you unlock the secrets of my heart.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

THE PASSIONS

BURN FOREVER DEEP

" The Passions Burn Forever Deep"

There are passions here within me,
that burn forever deep.
A whirl wind of emotion,
as I follow the pathway to his love.

Mixed emotions I keep hidden deep inside,
as I stare into his deep blue eyes.
Emotions of joy,happiness and of fear,
fear of losing the passions that burn forever deep.

I watch his face to see a love fulfilled,
as I follow his passion into the depths of his soul.
He lays his love upon my heart,
as the passions within us scream.

My head laid upon his chest,
the passions building within.
He pulls me close and kisses my lips,
and the passions burn forever deep.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

His Passion I always Find...Deep Inside My Soul... 

" Torn Between Two Hearts"

Torn between two hearts today,
that's where I seem to stay.
Two men who are very special,
in so many ways.

One a little country boy,
I've know for many years.
As teenagers we went steady,
a life time ago it seems.
But after many years departed,
and dreams, no longer true.
We found each other once again,
after a tragic, tragic day.

My heart so torn and shattered,
the tears he wiped away.
The weeks of feeling lost and lonely,
my mind, for me he soothed.

The closeness I felt coming,
why didn't I run away?
Now as I lay here beside him
my life is not the same.
He tells me that he loves me,
and this I feel is true.

Now I'm torn between two hearts,
not knowing what to do.

For with the other guy,
a beautiful soul was my find.
He has shown me a love so true,
One I've never known.
A kindness like no other,
and a passion deep inside.

His passion stays within my mind,
and in my heart each day.
He too tells me that he loves me,
and I know it to be true.
He wants to spend his life with me,
and live a life of love.

Now my life is so crazy,
I don't know which way to turn.
My heart it stays in shambles,
not wanting to hurt either one.
I guess for now I'll have to stay,
torn between two hearts.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

The Evil Lurks Within!!! 

"As Evil Takes It's Toll"

Inside this mirror I see you,
your eyes cold and grey.
The icy coldness over takes me,
as I try to run away.

In the dimness of the darkened night,
your hands so ridged and cold.
You send my heart yielding,
as the chills take their hold.

Your frown so hollow and empty,
piercing my darkened soul.
My heart in sheer terror,
as your evil takes it's toll.

Inside, my mind keeps screaming,
from my mouth there is no sound.
Is this just a dream I feel?
Or is it sheer horror that I've found?

Here within this distorted mind,
the demons lie down deep.
Inside my heart is dying,
as I begin to weep.

As the coldness of your breath falls upon me,
it cuts into my tormented soul.
It rips right through my weary heart,
as your evil takes it's toll.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

YOUR ALWAYS ON MY MIND

JUST THINKING OF YOU

" As I Lull Away The Hours"

As I lull away the hours,
lying here upon my bed.
Thinking about how much you love me,
and all the things you've said.

As you tell me of a love so strong,
my heart pounds within my chest.
I know I'll never find another,
and my soul will not rest.

As I lull away the hours,
I wish you were here with me.
Lying here I wonder,
if this will ever be.

My heart is running over,
with this love you've sent my way.
I can't wait for you to hold me,
and love me everyday.

As I lull away the hours,
I wonder if this is just a dream.
Or if I will ever have you,
my heart, it wants to scream.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

I Just Wonder 

" As I Sit And Watch The Hours"

As I sit and watch the hours,
tick away the day.
I sometimes wonder,
why you went away.

Was your life here not good enough,
or was the pain to hard to bear.
Was it because I put so much on you,
with my kids, I know it wasn't fair.

Was it because you missed your son,
and your father too.
Now here on earth,
you'll find us feeling blue.

As I sit and watch the hours,
tick away the nights.
I remember in confusion,
that 1 terrible fight.

I never even told you,
how sorry I was that day.
I hope that you forgave me,
before you went away.

As I sit and watch the hours,
tick away in gloom.
I hope your really happy,
for my life is filled with doom.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

Look over me here...I just have a little anger in me ... I don't really know why...I know she couldn't help leaving...When your number is called you have no choice....but I am angery...and I don't know why...

Tell Me!

Your Love Blooms Like The Beautiful Flowers Of Spring...

"Tell Me How It Happened"

Tell me how it happened
You,your body against mine.
You, as run your fingers through my hair
flickering quivers, inside my heart.

Tell me how it happened
Your lips kissing me softly
as through these lips,
had once been shaken.
The tones echoed your touch,
as you whispered softly in my ear.

Tell me how it happened
You,caressing my body gently
as your hands begin to tremble.
The sound of your heart beating
like the thunder rolling in from the skies.

Tell me how it happened
As you lay there next me.
For my heart has finally opened up to you,
a side no one else has ever seen.

So tell me how it happened
For I fallen in love with you.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

Who Knows?

Is It Love Or Lust

"Poison" Here Within My Ears

Your words are like poison, here within my ears,
all your I Love yous', sends me reeling in tears.
I never want to hurt you, but somehow I know will.
But I will allow you to Love me, if we make a deal.
You can Love me now, until the day is gone,
if you never leave me here all alone.
You can Love until the sun sets, in the afternoon,
if you never leave me with a life of gloom.
You can Love me on a starry night,
if you never leave me, and keep my days all bright.
You can Love me in the winter, and on those summer days,
if you never leave me, and Love me where ever my heart lays.
You can Love me in the fall and in the spring time too,
if you never leave me, or make me say I Do.
For Love is like poison,here within my ears
all your I Love yous'. sends me reeling in tears.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

I Hear A Faint Voice Calling

Calling out my name

A Faint Voice

I hear a faint voice speaking
softly inside my head.
Is that voice my mothers
for I know she's really dead.
As I lay my head upon my pillow
my weary mind won't rest.
I know the Lord did
what he really thought was best.
But somewhere in my mind
I can't come to terms with this.
Even though I know she's happy
living in a world of bliss.
My heart it's always crying
to have her here with me.
Inside I feel I'm dying
then I hear her faint voice.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

This is the selfish side of me!!!
I just want her here!!!

Within These Gates

LIES A HEART THAT'S RIDDLED

Within These Braided Gates Of Steel

Within these gates of braided steel,
walls so high I just can't feel.
Pondering my fate, and soul within,
living in this life of sin.
Overwhelmed and confused by fate
existing here within my mate.

As the tears of frustration roll down my face
I find myself in another time and place.
A time when sin and lust were true
hollow days all spent with you.

Within these braided gates of steel
walls so high I just can't feel.
Were sin and pleasures come together
I'll live my life here forever.

Behind these walls I've built so high
pain and sorrow is where I lie.
Here within my heart is bound
inside my mind, there is no sound.

Within these gates of twisted metal
lies a heart forever riddled.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

This poem stems out of jealousy...from a man ...naturally...lol

So Many Years Of Love...Gone That September Day

A single tear drop falls as he remembers her sweet embrace...

A Single Tear Drop

A single tear drop rolled down his cheek
as he remembered her sweet embrace.
To know he would never feel her again
nor see her smiling face.
His heart wore torn and weary
he tries to fill his days.
As a single tear drop rolls down his cheek
just knowing she's gone so far away.
He sits and stares for hours
just remembering all their days.
The many years of love they shared
gone that September day.
For the Lord sent his angels
to take my mother away.
I know when he joins her,
that single tear drop I will see
is from the joy of being reunited,
with the only true Love he needs.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

I Love You Dad

PEACE BE WITH YOU

REST IN PEACE AUNT MARY

ANOTHER DEATH

Dec 11, death of another...Aunt Mary...funny old woman...she loved my mother and for that I guess I have to say I loved her too...Mom did so I guess there was something there...maybe the death will stop with her...

A FRIENDSHIP IN FULL BLOOM

A FRIENDSHIP ROSE FOR YOU
A friendship that has bloomed for 27 years...
May our friendship last another 27 years or more...
ALL MY LOVE TO YOU MY FRIEND...

With Every Breath That I Take In

With every breath I take in
I feel the love from you, my friend.
It has been so many years
a life without you would bring many tears.

We've been together since way back when
we were young girls, just needing a friend.
And on that cool January day
I believe the Lord sent you my way.

So with every breath that I take in
I think of all the years of Love, my friend.
The most special friendship I've ever had
if I lost it now I'd be so very sad.

So many years I've spent my life
trying to live through all this strife.
You've always been there just for me
no matter where your life may be.

So with every breath I take in
I think of our lives together,my friend.
And through your love, I've learned so much
how ones heart feels, when given that touch.

After all these years that we have spent
I found out how much your Love has meant.
This special poem is just for you, my friend, Janiece
and know through your Love, I found much relief.

This poem is so very hard to end
through my heart, my Love I do send.
And with every breath that I take in
I'll always think of you, my friend.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

This very special poem I write is for my best friend of 27 years, Janiece.
I just want you to know I Love you with all my heart. You have been the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for being there for me all these years and especially with the last one that has been so hard.My Love goes out to you with every breath that I that in until the day I am no longer on this earth. I Love You, My Friend.

I SLEEP SOMEWHERE WITHIN THIS MIST

Sleeping Within This Mist

I sleep sometimes within this mist
of emotional trials and in bliss.
Up and down my emotions go
inside this mind you never know.
Today my heart is singing loud
tomorrow may bring a darkened cloud.

But while my heart is feeling free
I'll spend some time just being me.
Living free and loving life
being alone as no mans wife.
Sleep by day, and prowl by night
living without the days sun light.

And during my darkest hours here
just know in my heart I hold you near.
I think of your kiss upon my lips so deep
inside my heart, my soul does weep.
Because sleeping deep within this mist
I find you bind me at my wrist.

I love you still with all my heart
just as I have right from the start.
But sometimes I feel my minds at war
my feet keep running out that door.
So until that day your heart call upon me
to make my decision, or just let things be .
Deep inside this mist I will sleep
and hold your memory way down deep.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

MERRY CHRISTMAS MAMA

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Happy Happy Christmas

I was driving to work today
and I guess I really have to say.
I was still a little down
wearing that nasty frown.
When on the radio came on this song
I hadn't heard in so long.
Happy Happy Christmas
and inside my car it was playing so loud .
I could hear my mother singing, and I was so proud.
For I could feel her singing to me
just the way it use to be.
I knew right then and there
she was telling me, No life's not fair.
But girl pick up you head and stand proud
and enjoy your Christmas, as mother sings out loud.
For I will be with you from now on
just listen with your heart and you'll hear me sing you a song .
Just enjoy your Christmas with your Dad
and my babies that you had.
I'll always be there just for you
and tell the others not to be blue.
So today with what she placed in my heart
I'll enjoy my Christmas, even though we're apart.
For I know this will be a great Christmas for her there
with her son and the others in heaven and all the love they now share.
And I'll listen to her in my heart everyday
as she sends her songs down my way.
Now I guess I'll go put up my tree
and let my childen have a Happy Happy Christmas with me.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

This was what came in my heart yesterday as I was driving to work...I feel my mother with me everyday...but yesterday was different...it really made me happy...and then when I got home I was writing my poem...I stopped to check my emails...and I had 1 that really got to me...I won't disclose the content of the email...but it really made me think even more about this grief and how I am dealing with it...and to this person I thank you for that...I really needed it...I hope you all enjoy my poem and have a Happy Happy Christmas...I plan on have one myself...

My mother and father with 1 of the 6 children ( Tony)made from the 47 years of love they shared.

A LOVE THAT LASTED 47 YEARS...AND STILL CONTINUES WITH MY FATHER. HE WILL LOVE AND MISS HER UNTIL HE TAKES HIS LAST BREATH

"6 Children" Made From Love

Tony, Terry, Teddy,
Joyce Jenny, Julie.
Boy it does have a ring
what was Mom thinking, when she did this thing.
Guess she knew what she was doing
but it has my poor head wooing.
All my life I wondered, What was my name?
Was it Jenny, Julie, or Joyce ?
Oh no here it is again, I hear her voice.
She's calling you this time Tony
so what if she yelled Teddy or Terry, both of you were boney.
I know it's you she wants, and you've had it too
because you pushed me off the house, your butts gonna be blue.
Now Jenny this time it was you
yea she called Julie, but you threw the shoe.
Now that boy probably still carries a scar
you through that damn shoe so very hard.
Ok now Julie it has to be you, not me this time
it has to be you that did the crime.
She may have called Joyce, but you tell the truth, don't run out the door
your the one who poured the potatoes in the floor.
Yes Teddy she yelled Tony or Terry
but you better get you ass on a ferry.
Because it's your ass that might have to carry a scar
if she ever finds out you through that tomato in that car.
Another one who carries a scar on their head
it's a wonder that poor man isn't dead.
Ok it is me this time not Julie or Jenny
I was the one that stole that damn penny.
You know this is a funny little story
but in it lies the truth and the glory.
For a mother who named her children this way
even with her gone to heaven, I still hear it, to this day
Tony, Terry, Teddy, Joyce, Jenny, Julie.
We were the 6 children made from their love
now Moms in heaven with Terry, both free as a dove.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

This little story or poem whatever you want to call it is to all of us...lol...Tony, Terry, Teddy, Joyce, Jenny, Julie...We always laughed about how she named us...She never could call us by the right name...but we knew who she meant when she yelled...lol...I always wandered why she didn't name us with names that started with an M...You see my Dads name was Thomas....but mom's was Minnie...LOL...I was just sitting here thinking of her as usual and this was what came into my mind....love you all very much... And you to Daddy
PS: Mom love you and Terry too!

IT HARD TO THINK OF LIFE WITHOUT YOU 

I HOPE IT'S FOR LIFE

To feel the love inside my soul
when I think of you it makes me whole.
To feel your touch upon my face
it sends my mind to another place.

A place where we once met
right then and there my mind was set.
I knew I would have you as my love
the day you were sent from up above.

To hear your voice inside my mind
there's no words that I can find,
to let you know just how much I care.
Should I let myself love you? Do I dare?

As scared as I am of love today
my heart won't let me, send you away.
I've tried so hard to run from this
but all I can think about is our first kiss.

Your arms around me, holding me tight
these feelings you gave me, I tried to fight.
No matter how hard I try to run and hide
I always find you residing deep inside.

Your soul has touched my very heart
how can I ever think of letting us part?
You talk of one day me being your wife
if that day comes I hope it's for life.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

I Love you

MAMA THE ROSE OF OUR HEARTS 

The Rose Of Our Hearts

As I sit and watch my roses grow
We lost the most beautiful love, I know.
She was the rose of our hearts and lives
now the tears flow as we say our goodbyes.

3 months she's been gone away
but it seems like it was yesterday.
I still don't know how to live my life
nor does my father without his wife.

My mind it stays in shambles
as my mouth it always rambles.
Now my life never seems make any sense
the death of our rose makes my heart so tense.

One day I know this pain will ease
but until then, our rose is all my heart sees.
She was the most wonderful rose
that's all my heart really knows.

She planted a rose for each child she had
to think of it now it makes me very sad.
To think of how she loved us all
and how she had to die this fall.

But a few months before she died
her rose for Terry she planted outside.
On his birthday she found it in full bloom
she was so excited, it took away some of her gloom.

You see my brother has been dead for years
and his death brought my mother so many tears.
But on that day she had to show us all
little did we know she would join him in early fall.

So the Rose of our hearts is gone
now we all feel so all alone.
But until we see her in heaven one day
we'll send a rose and our love her way.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

As the Rose of our hearts is now gone...so is a part of all our hearts and souls....We will miss you forever Mama....

SHADOWED FACES OF FEAR

HOLLOWED EYED FACES INSIDE MY MIND

Shadowed Pain

As the shadows show their face again
tormented is my heart as their presence begin.
Inflicting this pain inside my mind
their enduring torment is all I can find.

As I flirted with deaths open door
all this pain I can't take any more.
Tired of being invalid and weak
sick of feeling like a freak.

My identity I can't seem to find
lost forever in this crazy mind.
As I explore these things in my head
sometimes I wish I were dead.

Frightening are these demons here
my heart racing from them in fear.
Erie are these shadowed faces still
as their presence I do feel.

Dormant they lay in wait for me
waiting to see where my mind will be.
To see what state my heart is in today
so they know what pain they can inflict my way.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004

MY HEART IS YOURS FOREVER

YOU HOLD THE KEY TO MY HEART

To Feel Your Love Once More

Held captive by a heart so true
inside my mind I am so blue.
Entranced by your sensuous eyes
I wonder how we'll live our lives.
Seduced by your smiling face
as my heart runs it's race.
Your arms that once held my body near
it's been so long, my minds not clear.
I long to have you pull me close to your chest
until that day my mind will never rest.
Let's have that lunch were our love began
and have those feeling come back again.
I wait for the day you walk back through that door
and I feel your love once more.

Copyrights:JoyceWilbanksIvy©2004